Friendship-building is a skill you can teach and practice, not a fixed trait your child either has or doesn't. Small, intentional steps make a real difference: preparing your child, setting up the right environment, and staying involved as a parent or caregiver. This takes work, and progress is often gradual. A good friend doesn't have to look or communicate like your child does.

Table of Contents

  • [Why is making friends harder for some children with disabilities?](#why-is-making-friends-harder-for-some-children-with-disabilities)
  • [What skills should my child practice to make and keep friends?](#what-skills-should-my-child-practice-to-make-and-keep-friends)
  • [How do I prepare my child before a social situation?](#how-do-i-prepare-my-child-before-a-social-situation)
  • [What does a good playdate or play space look like?](#what-does-a-good-playdate-or-play-space-look-like)
  • [How can I help my child build friendships at school?](#how-can-i-help-my-child-build-friendships-at-school)
  • [What if my child is nonverbal or uses AAC to communicate?](#what-if-my-child-is-nonverbal-or-uses-aac-to-communicate)
  • [Where can my child find social groups and activities in southeastern Wisconsin?](#where-can-my-child-find-social-groups-and-activities-in-southeastern-wisconsin)
  • [How do I handle exclusion or bullying when it happens?](#how-do-i-handle-exclusion-or-bullying-when-it-happens)
  • [Key Takeaways](#key-takeaways)
  • [References](#references)

Why is making friends harder for some children with disabilities?

Making friends can be harder because of real, practical barriers that other children may not face. Physical access is one common challenge. Playgrounds, birthday parties, and after-school activities are not always built for children who use wheelchairs, walkers, or have limited mobility, according to Jon Slifka.

!A person in a wheelchair playing basketball with a friend outdoors on a court.

Photo by SHVETS production on Pexels

Communication barriers also play a role. Children with speech and language disorders, autism, or deafness can experience frustration, misinterpretation, or social exclusion by peers, Jon Slifka notes. Sensory sensitivities can make loud noises, bright lights, or chaotic social settings overwhelming. Some children avoid social settings altogether because of this.

Building friendships and social skills takes real work and usually doesn't happen overnight, according to Navigate Life Texas. A friend can be older or younger than your child, with or without a disability. Spending time together might not involve a lot of talking or communication at all.

What skills should my child practice to make and keep friends?

The core building blocks are sharing, taking turns, listening, and noticing other children's feelings, according to Raising Children Network. These skills don't always come naturally, but they can be practiced in low-pressure ways at home.

Board games and interactive games create natural practice for cooperating, sharing, and waiting. Raising Children Network suggests using prompts that fade over time. A child might start with a wait card, then move to a raised hand, and eventually use just a raised finger.

!A father helps his son with buttoning a shirt in a cozy living room.

Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Pexels

Role playing is another practical tool. Pretending and practicing how to talk with friends helps children rehearse real interactions before they happen. An occupational therapist, social worker, or other support person can also guide this practice, according to Navigate Life Texas.

Play and friendship matter far beyond fun. They help children with disabilities develop social-emotional, communication, and physical skills, Raising Children Network reports.

How do I prepare my child before a social situation?

Preparation starts with previewing what will happen. Reading books about playing with others helps. You can also make social stories or drawings of what might happen on the playground, according to Raising Children Network. Social stories were introduced by Carol Gray in 1991 and are a widely used way to preview new situations, Friendship Circle notes.

If your child uses augmentative and alternative communication, often called AAC, let people know the main signs or how the system works beforehand. Raising Children Network recommends this step so peers and adults can respond well.

Tell other parents about your child's preferences. For example, short playdates might work better because your child tires quickly. Keep the preview concrete and low-pressure. The goal is to build confidence, not anxiety.

What does a good playdate or play space look like?

A good play space is roomy, not crowded, and offers different areas so children can play together or alone, according to Raising Children Network. Small-group or one-on-one time often works better than bigger groups when things feel chaotic, Jon Slifka explains.

Inclusive play spaces help peers know how to include your child. Teaching communication awareness is part of this. Jon Slifka suggests creating spaces where differences are normalized through education.

Quiet corners with sensory tools make a difference. Noise-reduction headphones and fidget items can help children stay regulated, according to Friendship Circle. Flexible seating and reduced visual clutter also help children stay comfortable in shared spaces.

How can I help my child build friendships at school?

Stay in touch with teachers and connect with other parents. These relationships open doors for your child, according to Navigate Life Texas. Joining parent groups helps too. Look for classes and activities that match your child's interests.

Inclusive classroom steps can reduce barriers. Friendship Circle lists reducing visual clutter, controlling noise levels, offering flexible seating, and setting up quiet corners with sensory tools as practical supports.

Communication supports can extend beyond the classroom. A speech-language pathologist in Syracuse, Ohio, collaborated with a county board of developmental disabilities to create all-weather communication boards, Friendship Circle reports. Normalizing differences through education helps classmates understand rather than exclude, Jon Slifka adds.

What if my child is nonverbal or uses AAC to communicate?

Friendship does not require a lot of talking. Shared time and presence count, according to Navigate Life Texas. A friend can be any age, with or without a disability.

Let people know your child's main signs or how the AAC system works before a get-together. Raising Children Network recommends this step so communication goes more smoothly.

Teach peers communication awareness so they can interpret and respond well, Jon Slifka suggests. Practice self-advocacy skills so your child can signal what they need. Role play and modeling can rehearse real interactions, with support from a therapist or social worker if helpful, according to Navigate Life Texas.

Where can my child find social groups and activities in southeastern Wisconsin?

Organizations such as the Special Olympics and The Miracle League sponsor social gatherings, and some may have a cost, according to Navigate Life Texas. A recreation therapist works outdoors and at community activities and might even go along on a play date.

Abide Supportive Living provides skill instruction and respite, not housekeeping, personal care, or nursing, for families in Milwaukee, Waukesha, Ozaukee, and Washington counties. Through the Children's Long-Term Support waiver, CLTS Non-Medical Respite gives families a planned break while a child stays engaged and supported.

For adults, IRIS-funded Life Skills Training and Education and Community Access Skills build the practical abilities that make social connection easier. These services focus on practicing transit, appointments, and community spaces on the person's own terms.

How do I handle exclusion or bullying when it happens?

Take exclusion seriously. Communication barriers can lead to misinterpretation or outright social exclusion by peers, according to Jon Slifka. The first step is noticing the pattern and naming it.

Address the environment, not just the moment. Inclusive play spaces and normalizing differences reduce exclusion over time, Jon Slifka explains. Empower self-advocacy skills so your child has language or signals for setting boundaries.

Keep the school loop open with teachers and other parents so patterns get noticed early, Navigate Life Texas advises. Setbacks are normal and don't erase the progress your child has made.

Key Takeaways

  • Friendship-building is a teachable skill that takes consistent work rather than happening on its own.
  • Children with disabilities often face three main barriers: physical access, communication, and sensory overload.
  • Core friendship skills include sharing, turn-taking, listening, and reading feelings, all of which can be practiced through games and role play.
  • Social stories, introduced by Carol Gray in 1991, help children preview new social situations before they happen.
  • A good playdate space is roomy, not crowded, and offers both together-time and quiet corners with sensory tools.
  • A friend can be any age, with or without a disability, and time together doesn't have to involve much talking.
  • Abide Supportive Living offers CLTS Non-Medical Respite and IRIS-funded skill instruction in Milwaukee, Waukesha, Ozaukee, and Washington counties.

References

  1. Friendships and Social Skills for Children With Disabilities and Special Health Care Needs — Navigate Life Texas, date unknown
  2. How to Support Peer Relationships for Kids With Special Needs — Friendship Circle, 2025-08-05
  3. How to help your child with disability enjoy play and make friends — Raising Children Network, date unknown
  4. The Challenges of Making Friends as a Child with a Disability — Jon Slifka, 2025-03-04